unpaid vacation

Fables

A Rat and an Owl went to the movies together. They saw Pan’s Labyrinth and were convinced halfway through that they could speak Spanish. The Rat screamed during the part where that eye creature comes to life. He spilled his jujubes. This is why now rats have such tiny fingers, and can only carry one jujube at a time.

A Rat and an Owl were driving through an urban neighborhood late at night. The Owl was at the wheel, and therefore was in charge of tunes. He put on the latest from his favorite band, Keane. Rat and Owl were having a great time until the passenger’s side tire blew and they rolled to a stop. They spent the rest of the night huddled in the car waiting until it was light enough to go find a payphone to get a tow truck. This is why Owl has a crick in his neck, it’s because he was sleeping sitting up all night, goddamnit.

A Rat and an Owl were walking down a commercial street and talking in a code they had developed earlier that summer. A’s were E’s and U’s were both I’s and O’s. It was complicated, but they applied themselves. In their travels, they encountered a strapping young man who offered them pamphlets containing information about joining the armed forces. The Rat went off to serve his country, but the Owl was labeled an F4 because he had a speech impediment and flat foot. So he couldn’t go to war. And to this day he shows off his really good night vision just to stick it to that recruitment officer.